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Print A couple of weeks ago, the New York Times published a photo of what I had reason to believe was an elementary school classroom. I wrote and said at the time that it would lead to awful consequences. My reasoning was that self-esteem needs to be earned, that it cannot and should not be given. People walking around with unearned high self-esteem are often a danger to society. This was confirmed by one of the most highly regarded criminologists in the country, professor Roy Baumeister, who has written and who told me on my radio show that murderers possess higher self-esteem than almost any other members of society.

This makes perfect sense. Apparently not. Given how long such messages have been communicated to young Americans, they should be among the happiest young people in American history. Indeed, they should be among the happiest young people compared to young people living in any other country. Yet all of this showering of esteem has been accompanied by the highest depression and suicide rates among young Americans ever recorded.

Equally awful, all this unmerited praise has produced at least two generations of young and now middle-aged Americans who are indeed special — in their narcissism and in their inability to deal with setbacks. Why is life so difficult? Telling every fifth-grader that the world is a better place because he or she is in it feeds this unearned sense of importance.

I wrote and said at the time that it would lead to awful consequences. My reasoning was that self-esteem needs to be earned, that it cannot and should not be given. People walking around with unearned high self-esteem are often a danger to society. This was confirmed by one of the most highly regarded criminologists in the country, professor Roy Baumeister, who has written and who told me on my radio show that murderers possess higher self-esteem than almost any other members of society.

This makes perfect sense. You have to think you are better than others to take another person's life. So, then, what's wrong with this message to fifth graders? Isn't it a positive thing for a year-old to be told that the world is a better place just because he or she is in it?

Apparently not. Given how long such messages have been communicated to young Americans, they should be among the happiest young people in American history. Indeed, they should be among the happiest young people compared to young people living in any other country. We've had 50 years of telling young people how terrific, brilliant and special they are, of giving young people trophies even when they or their teams lose, and, more recently, abolishing valedictorians lest any graduating students think poorly of themselves.

Yet all of this showering of esteem has been accompanied by the highest depression and suicide rates among young Americans ever recorded. Equally awful, all this unmerited praise has produced at least two generations of young and now middle-aged Americans who are indeed special -- in their narcissism and in their inability to deal with setbacks. If I'm so great -- if the world is lucky to have me -- why isn't life rewarding me? Why is life so difficult? This is the genesis of the "safe spaces" almost every contemporary American campus provides to college students who find having a speaker on campus with whom they differ so traumatic that they retreat to a "safe space.

Telling every fifth-grader that the world is a better place because he or she is in it feeds this unearned sense of importance. Not to mention that is rarely true.

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My reasoning was that self-esteem needs to be earned, that it cannot and should not be given. People walking around with unearned high self-esteem are often a danger to society. This was confirmed by one of the most highly regarded criminologists in the country, professor Roy Baumeister, who has written and who told me on my radio show that murderers possess higher self-esteem than almost any other members of society.

This makes perfect sense. You have to think you are better than others to take another person's life. So, then, what's wrong with this message to fifth graders? Isn't it a positive thing for a year-old to be told that the world is a better place just because he or she is in it?

Apparently not. Given how long such messages have been communicated to young Americans, they should be among the happiest young people in American history. Indeed, they should be among the happiest young people compared to young people living in any other country. We've had 50 years of telling young people how terrific, brilliant and special they are, of giving young people trophies even when they or their teams lose, and, more recently, abolishing valedictorians lest any graduating students think poorly of themselves.

Yet all of this showering of esteem has been accompanied by the highest depression and suicide rates among young Americans ever recorded. Equally awful, all this unmerited praise has produced at least two generations of young and now middle-aged Americans who are indeed special -- in their narcissism and in their inability to deal with setbacks.

If I'm so great -- if the world is lucky to have me -- why isn't life rewarding me? Why is life so difficult? This is the genesis of the "safe spaces" almost every contemporary American campus provides to college students who find having a speaker on campus with whom they differ so traumatic that they retreat to a "safe space. Telling every fifth-grader that the world is a better place because he or she is in it feeds this unearned sense of importance. Not to mention that is rarely true.

Their family may feel it's a better place because they were born, and if a parent wishes to communicate that sentiment, that might be a helpful thing to say on occasion. I wrote and said at the time that it would lead to awful consequences. My reasoning was that self-esteem needs to be earned, that it cannot and should not be given. People walking around with unearned high self-esteem are often a danger to society.

This was confirmed by one of the most highly regarded criminologists in the country, professor Roy Baumeister, who has written and who told me on my radio show that murderers possess higher self-esteem than almost any other members of society. This makes perfect sense. Apparently not. Given how long such messages have been communicated to young Americans, they should be among the happiest young people in American history. Indeed, they should be among the happiest young people compared to young people living in any other country.

Yet all of this showering of esteem has been accompanied by the highest depression and suicide rates among young Americans ever recorded. Equally awful, all this unmerited praise has produced at least two generations of young and now middle-aged Americans who are indeed special — in their narcissism and in their inability to deal with setbacks. Why is life so difficult? Telling every fifth-grader that the world is a better place because he or she is in it feeds this unearned sense of importance.

Not to mention that is rarely true. However, that raises the question of whether it was a bad thing that few parents, let alone schools, prior to the s said that to their young children.

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